Thursday, 5 July 2007

Johnny Morris & the Foul Mouthed Squirrel

I’m Johnny Morris. I’m looking through his eyes as I talk to the camera and then I keep switching to seeing him/me from outside. I’m dressed in his Bristol Zoo Keeper’s outfit, peaked cap with ‘keeper’ in silver letters, the works. And I’m doing all his voices like there’s no tomorrow, I can’t stop them. I’m saying things like, “And Gerry the Giraffe is having a hard time.”
“Yes,” says Gerry, “You see, my house is just too small. I keep banging my head on the roof. Oh dear, oh deary me”.
Now I’m doing a piece to camera again with a squirrel on my shoulder. He’s nervously chewing at a nut. “And what’s your name,” I say.
"F***k off, mother******,” he says.
Oh god, I’m thinking, He can’t say things like that on kids television.
“Mind your language, Cyril,” I say.
“F*** off”

N Pearlman, Wigan

(Johnny Morris was a television presenter on Animal Magic)

Mercury Vague : A dream on a common theme of uncontrollable public embarrassment. Squirrels often mean future problems due to unpaid bills. Johnny Morris in dreams is a gentle figure often symbolizing hiding from one’s responsibilities. The dream is about feelings you have of finances spinning out of control and your tendency to wash your hands of them.

celebrity dreams
no:18
posted by Mercury Vague at 10:29

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